"Reilley called the hospital maternity ward. 'Hurry!' he shouted. 'Please send an ambulance. My wife is about to give birth!' 'Tell me, is this her first baby?' the nurse asked, assessing the situation. 'No, this is her husband, Murphy!' "
"Slainte! To your health!" Mike O'Dwyer toasted with a dark and creamy Guinness Stout, his eyes smilin' and his teeth grinnin' in anticipation of St. Paddy's Day festivities.
As usual, O'Dwyer, an Irish lad all the way from Tipperary who has adopted Maui as his home, will be kicking up his heels at his Mulligan's on the Blue in Wailea for days leading up to the big event Sunday at his restaurant.
Mulligan’s on the Blue ladies Amanda Schmillen and Simone Cabaud serve perfectly poured Guinness Stout and dish up traditional Reuben sandwiches and corned beef and cabbage with real Irish mashed potatoes.
The Maui News / CARLA TRACY photo
"Mully's," as it's affectionately called, will throw the biggest St. Paddy's Day party on the island, and other restaurants such as Fleetwood's on Front St. in Lahaina, will be going green, too.
"It's our 12th annual St. Paddy's Day at Mully's so my dad, John O'Dwyer, flew in for the occasion, and so did my best friend, Chef Fintan Ryan."
Here's the lineup of what's in store. For starters, Mulligan's will present Sharing the Green golf and extreme bocce tourneys on Saturday at Wailea Old Blue Golf Course as a benefit for Hospice Maui as well as Back Pack Buddies.
* Sharing the Green: Mulligan's on the Blue will present Golf and Extreme Bocce tourneys Saturday as a benefit for both Hospice Maui and Back Pack Buddies. Golf tourney costs $130 per person. Call 446-8234. Bocce tourney costs $115. Call 264-4289.
* Mully's St. Paddy's Day: Sunday, doors open at 8 a.m. with full Irish breakfast. Lunch buffet from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. is $25. Cover charge starts at 3 p.m., at $20 in advance, $25 at the door. Food tent runs from 3 to 10 p.m. with $15 plates. Dinner buffet is $50 (all plus tax and gratuity). Live music, contests and more. Call 874-1131.
* Fleetwood's on Front St.: Sip $3 green beer, savor authentic a la carte Irish fare, and dance to live and DJ music. Call 669-MICK.
Those who want to play in the golf tourney will get green fees, prizes, buffet dinner and entry to the St. Patrick's Day party the next day included in the four-man scramble.
Prefer extreme bocce? The tourney entry fee includes Mulligan's breakfast and lunch and awards party.
As for St. Paddy's Day itself, Sunday will be jumping at Mulligan's starting at 8 a.m. with a real Irish breakfast.
"We'll be curing our own pork this year to make Irish bacon. It's called rashers and it's brined for 48 hours," says O'Dwyer. "So for breakfast, we'll serve rashers, bangers, eggs, grilled tomatoes and traditional Irish black and white pudding. This is a good time to come in with kids and you may order other items a la carte off of our regular menu."
From 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., you may savor a full Irish buffet as you listen to Chancers, a group from Portland, Ore., that will play hackneyed paddy-whack tunes and other Irish ballads. Maui Pipe Dreams will come on strong with bagpiping.
"Come and get your Irish on," O'Dwyer beckons. "Wear green, have a pint, dance a jig. It'll be fun!"
At 3 p.m., a cover charge kicks in and there will be free shuttles running from Dog & Duck in Kihei. Enter contests for the Best Hat, and the Best Leprechaun Outfit. There will be a food tent from 3 to 10 p.m. with a la carte plates and drink specials.
"At 4 p.m., we'll feature the Isle of Maui Pipe Band, led by Alison Jackson, the first female pipe major here," says O'Dwyer. "For those who want a sit-down dinner, we'll put on a full Irish buffet starting at 5 p.m. with music by the Celtic Tigers and more getting the crowd going."
Guest Irish Chef Fintan flew in to oversee the operation and is preparing all of the Irish food. He is head chef of the Carlton Hotel in Dublin, but has come here at least seven times to visit O'Dwyer.
"Fintan will work with Mulligan's Chef Danny LeBag, who joined us after 22 years as Four Seasons banquet chef. We sent him to Kell's Irish Bar in Portland, Oregon, to see how real Irish food is made. He kicks ass and we're delighted to have him."
The buffet will feature potato and leek soup, Emerald green salad, carved corned beef and cabbage, and Irish lamb stew with meat imported from the home country, and berry crumble. Music and merriment will continue until midnight.
"Fintan will also cook Irish food at the MACC for the Bonnie Raitt concert Friday and Maui Pops on Sunday, " says O'Dwyer. "Altogether, we'll also be cooking over 1,000 pounds of corned beef, 200 pounds of Irish sausages and 500 pounds of Irish pinks (potatoes)."
Those in West Maui will want to celebrate St. Paddy's Day at Fleetwood's on Front St. from 11 a.m. to midnight.
"We'll sell green beers all day and all night for $3," says Ashely Leal, assistant general manager. "The party will really get started around sunset, when we'll serve a la carte traditional Irish fare. Roger McKinley, the mad bagpiper, and Celtic Hart will do high energy music from 5 to 9 p.m., and then DJ Dan Hills will do dance music from 9 p.m. to midnight."
Do try the Golden Lily cocktail, invented by Fleetwood mixologist Jenn Philpot, who will head to Vegas next week as one of only 30 U.S. bartenders to get into the prestigious Shake It Up contest in Las Vegas Convention Center. "Slainte!" everyone!