As regular observers of this space know, we sometimes seek to amuse our readers rather than a) educate them, b) inspire them, c) confuse them, or d) infuriate them.
In light of "fiscal cliffs" and the like, we opted for some lighter fare today.
The other night we were watching a golf tournament when, all of a sudden, there appeared on our screen a hole that twisted and turned all over the place.
"My goodness," we immediately thought, "that hole is positively serpentine."
Our second thought was, "What words rhyme with serpentine?"
The only one we could come up with was "turpentine." And that only works if you are not one of those proper Brits who insists the original word is pronounced "sur-pen-teen."
In any event, we set out to write a poem that made a lick of sense. Mind you, that is rhyming an adjective that means snakily curved (or something like that) with a noun that means paint thinner.
No easy task.
The closest we could come up with was this:
"I realized when your eyes met mine
"Your curves were sorta serpentine
"I kissed your lips, you slashed my tires
"I thought it showed your wild desires.
"But, woe is me, it only meant
"You had a head full of cement
"So keep those curves so serpentine
"I'd rather drink some turpentine."
Out of concern for the British, you may pronounce the last usage "sur-pen-teen" but only if you can come up with a rhyme that does not include "burpin' queen."
That would be disrespectful.
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