In her volunteer "big sister, little sister" relationship, the big sister has grown just as much as her younger sibling.
Tehilla Ben-Gershom, aka the "little," has been right at "big" Rebecca Zeuch's side as the mentor went from a single woman "living fancy free" to becoming a wife, then a mother.
In the Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring program, where normally one would think the "big" watches the "little" grow, Zeuch and Ben-Gershom say they have actually grown together.
"I have matured as well as she has," Zeuch said. "We have been good for each other."
The 40-year-old massage therapist from Kihei said she and the 15-year-old Kihei Charter High School sophomore have been together "through death, births, through marriage."
"I can't imagine not having her in my life."
Ben-Gershom said Zeuch is more like a "family friend" than half of a match put together by the Wailuku nonprofit. "It's like she's close family," she said.
Next month, the two will celebrate another milestone together: their 10th anniversary.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Maui match specialist Jennifer Kwasny said that in the program's 43 years on the Valley Isle, not many matches have endured a decade.
In 2011, "big brother" Layne Oshiro and "little" Taylor DeGuerra, a recent graduate of King Kekaulike High School, hit their decade mark.
At that time, a case manager at the much larger Big Brothers Big Sisters of Honolulu, who had been with the nonprofit for about 35 years, said he'd seen only a dozen or so matches lasting a decade or longer.
Volunteers make a one-year commitment and can stay together officially under the program until the child turns 18, Kwasny said. Beyond that, relationships can last a lifetime.
She added that the program is always looking for more volunteers and mentors.
Although Zeuch and Ben-Gershom have said they don't know how they will celebrate their anniversary, Kwasny said Bistro Manila in Kahului has offered to serve the two dinner and dessert on the house.
Kwasny added that the restaurant has an ongoing discount for Big Brothers Big Sisters matches who come in to dine as a match activity.
"I am so thankful for businesses such as this that are willing to support matches," she added.
Zeuch said Ben-Gershom was just 5 years old when the two met.
"I was single, about to turn 30 years old; working in the restaurant business; living a fancy-free lifestyle with little obligation to anything, but I felt unfulfilled," Zeuch said. "I felt like I should be doing more to give back to Maui and the amazing community that has embraced me since the day I moved here, 14 years ago."
Zeuch heard an advertisement on the radio for Big Brothers Big Sisters and called the agency.
At that time, Ben-Gershom said, her mother had her hands full with newborn twins. Although Ben-Gershom has an older brother, he was seven years older so they weren't very close.
But then Zeuch entered her life.
"I really liked her; she was really nice. It was fun to go and have my time with someone," Ben-Gershom recalled.
The two went to the movies, the beach and shopping. When Ben-Gershom got older they went to get manicures, and now the two are happy just sitting around and talking.
"We understand each other a lot. We have a lot of the same opinions. . . . She's the best friend that is more mature and understanding," Ben-Gershom said.
The two have talked about the "basic morals of life" and how to "be good and all that stuff," Ben-Gershom added.
As the "little" grew, so did the "big," with Ben-Gershom's help.
As the two hung out, Zeuch's then-boyfriend and now-husband Richard Zeuch also formed a bond with Ben-Gershom.
"It really helped show me, my (future) husband was excellent with kids," Zeuch said.
"We laugh at it nowadays. Tehilla and I have known each other more than me and my husband have."
Ben-Gershom was Zeuch's flower girl in her wedding in 2004.
As Zeuch gave birth to and is now raising two children, Karly, 4, and Alex, 2, Ben-Gershom was right there with her. She baby-sits.
"She was always doing stuff for me," Ben-Gershom recalls. "When I got older, I would like to do stuff to help her and help her kids. It's so fun for me."
Even though Zeuch's life got busier with her family, she didn't sever ties with her "little."
"She is part of the family, and life wouldn't be the same without her," Zeuch said.
Now Zeuch's family has become part of Ben-Gershom's life and vice versa.
Zeuch and her family go out to Ben-Gershom's in-line hockey games. Zeuch also plays her big sister role in helping transport Ben-Gershom to games and practices when her mother, a single parent, isn't able to do so.
Zeuch said that throughout the years, she has let her "little" be herself and has not imposed any judgment on her.
"I do try to be a good role model at the same time, but being with Tehilla makes that easy," Zeuch said, adding that her "little" gets great support from her own mother. "Tehilla has changed my life for the better in so many ways. There is a bright light that shines all around her, and Tehilla brings unconditional love with her at all times. She is very mature for her age, but at the same time is always fun and playful."
The feeling is mutual.
Ben-Gershom added: "She's definitely a great person. Always fun to be around even if it's something boring; even if it's just hanging out watching TV; it's just fun to talk and stuff."
* Melissa Tanji can be reached at mtanji@mauinews.com.
